ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
