Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
