My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
