I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
