I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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