Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
