do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
