one might say we're banned from that church
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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