it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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