its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
