i just wanna soil my oats bro
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
