who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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