I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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