my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
