Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
