I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
