So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
