Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
