As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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