whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
