How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
