i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
