The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it hurts more in the daytime
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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