So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
