I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
