Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
