Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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