you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
