I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
