I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
