he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
