dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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