There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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