just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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