I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
