All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
