I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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