Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
