So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
