No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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