Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
