so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
