Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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