Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
