After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize