hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
