Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
