new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
