would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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