If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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